Peter
Horses aren’t as innocent as they look.
Maybe leave this little tidbit out of the list of reasons your daughter can’t get a pony. But still, know it in your heart. For what it’s worth, this does provide a lot of social cohesion. But it also seems like kind of a pain. Although, it’s not like horses have a lot else going on. They don’t have like, cable or anything. And they usually have to borrow Netflix accounts, the bums!
Like a brown snowflake.
Immediately we’re concerned about this, considering that after Face ID, we know Apple is going to be looking for the next best security system. This could be it. Luckily we don’t need to worry about dirty phones touching our butts, however, this would make browsing from the toilet that much grosser. So, maybe we just keep this a nice little secret.
Go ahead and check, we’ll wait.
Who knows who decided to keep track of this and why, but here it is, the least convenient way to tell what hand someone probably writes with. Let’s just get this out of the way: you can always just ask people, or observe them writing something. So many paths to take before we reach down someone else’s pants. Although it’s nice to know we got something out of all that time spent looking at our genitals in mirrors.
Don’t sneeze!
With this many men in such a precarious position at any given moment, we should all probably be holding still a lot more. This is a delicate situation, and we wouldn’t want to startle anyone. You hear that, North Korea? Knock it off, there are more important things happening right now. Like circumcisions, lots of em.
